my laptop is hotter than my sex life
if i ever got sentenced to house arrest i’d just laugh at the judge
Do you ever just pause while reading a fic because you can’t handle the cuteness and you’re just like
THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS. NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING
This does happen!!!!!
i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience
unless you experience my penis
I just choked on my food.
that’s not the only thing you’ll choke on
Don’t they usually put choking hazard warnings on really small things?
This literally just got better and better as it went on